Everyone makes resolutions at the start of each year, but many do not make it very far in their new resolve. It is time-consuming to make changes within yourself and in your life. Instead of setting yourself up for failure time after time, try changing your approach to how you want to live your life by embracing habits instead of resolutions. Continue reading to find tips that will help you on whatever journey you wish to take to make positive changes in your life.
Focus on joy and let the other things go.
This is a very simplistic notion. Of course, you should pay more attention to the happier things in life and move on from the rest, but this is easier said than done. Instead, set intentions on what you actually enjoy and want to spend your time on. Do the same for things you would like to let go of in your life, even if it is hard. Consider making a list to help clarify what you want instead of landing on vague thoughts that do not move into action.
Here is an example to follow:
- Things I would like to enjoy more of:
- Play games on my smartphone, like Freecell, without feeling guilty.
- Reading more each week.
- Making a healthy dinner on weeknights.
- Spending 15 minutes of time with each of my kids every day without distractions.
- Things I would like to let go of:
- Eating junk food whenever I am stressed.
- Staying up late every night watching shows.
- Feeling like I have to respond to work emails after hours.
- Getting mad at myself if I miss a day of exercise.
One tip for focusing on joy is to start paying attention to those moments when you feel it. If you are sitting in your office and a bird perches on the windowsill, stop what you are doing and embrace the moment. Look at its feathers and eyes, watch its movements, and when it is gone, you can go back to work. But for those few minutes, you can experience the joy of nature and appreciate it. Realizing that there are happy moments and joy all around starts with recognizing them.
Change the amount of time you spend on your phone.
You are probably already aware of the popular school of thought that recommends limiting the amount of time you spend on screens throughout the day. Since everything happens on screens, it requires an immense effort to get away from your devices. If you would like, you can change your relationship with your phone and any other tech you enjoy. The upside is that this endeavor does not have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.
What you need to do is change the amount of time you spend on your devices cumulatively. Start by being honest with yourself. Assess the actual usage information within your phone, laptop, and tablet’s respective settings for each app and website. Pay attention to how it changes throughout an entire week. This is important because weekdays and weekends may differ. Now it is time to give yourself some time limits. Set these up in the settings once again. Allow yourself more time for reading apps and legitimate news sources, and less time for social media that leads with misinformation and disinformation. Reduce gameplaying apps, if needed, and set an off switch, just in case you become too immersed in your favorite game and forget that it is time to go to sleep.
Watch this video for insightful commentary about brain rot, how people spend time on their smartphones, and what it might be doing to their attention spans.
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Set healthy boundaries to protect your well-being.
Boundaries are essential tools on a farm to keep the animals safe from harm and prevent them from wandering off. Boundaries separate countries and delineate responsibility for resources and land management. There are even boundaries in the form of lines to ensure everyone queues up in an orderly fashion to make a purchase or board a plane safely. And then there are personal and professional boundaries that are essential for your overall well-being. Much like the other boundaries that were mentioned, your boundaries are essential. Unlike those boundaries, yours are much more difficult to establish.
This is because people have a difficult time saying no. Whether it is due to a fear of being disliked or not wanting to disappoint someone else, the potential for backlash, our own perceived guilt, or even if it is because you do not have a very high level of self-esteem, boundaries can seem very flimsy at times.
Practice creating a new habit of valuing your self-worth by thoughtfully reflecting on any request of your time. Of course, you will always say yes to helping your young child, but when your adult child comes to you once again asking you for money, take a breath before answering. Make that pause a habit and use it to think about what the right decision is for you, not for them. Next, think about what you would like to say. No is a good start to your next sentence. You can say, “No, this is not a good time for me.” Or “No, I will not be able to do that for you any longer.” Take another breath and hold firm. Continuing to practice this habit to change your behavior regarding your boundaries is essential, especially when other people are taking advantage of you and will not take responsibility for their own behavior.
Focusing on habits instead of resolutions takes time, just as resolutions do, but habits are actionable, which makes them easier to do. Instead of lofty goals that consist of big ideas without any strategy, smaller habits are things you can do every day and eventually become part of your life, and that is the goal of any good resolution anyway. So go ahead and play puzzle games and experience the joy of playing games. Let things go, and work on setting healthy boundaries for a better life.
